Search This Blog

Thursday, March 18, 2010

No More Ab Workouts. Ever. Here's Why.



(by Anna Miller)

Don't worry, you don't need to slave away doing ab crunches and all those complicated ab workouts to get that beautiful, lean, toned stomach you've always wanted. Instead, you can just cheat your way to great abs with these can-not-fail tips!

#5 No One Cares About Lean Abs in 2010.

What, you didn't hear about it? Yeah, no one is really doing those ab workouts anymore, because no one really gives a crap about lean, nice abs. It's all about belly flab nowadays -- rockin' that beer belly is the surest way to self-confidence and romantic success. Maybe we'll bring back the lean, toned look one day, but for now, eat on!

#4 You Don't Really Notice Extra Fat, Anyway.

Yeah, fine, we gain some fat -- but who has ever heard of anyone's body 'placing' that fat in an unfortunate place? I know we just chatted about those pot bellies above, but really, it's not a big deal, because our bodies figure it all out and send the fat to places that never really see the light of day. So just eat away and don't really worry, you'll be fine!

#3 Are You Serious? The Beach?

Think about it. We've got global warming, we've got pollution, it's all pretty crazy, and who really wants to go to the beach anymore? No one really spends any time there -- I haven't heard of anyone going to the beach in years, and I'm practically an expert about these things.

#2 Buy One Of Those Electrode-Based Machines.

Wondering why you see all those ads for those weird, pulsating ab workout machines that attach to your stomach? It's easy! They just really, really work! Seriously, there's no issue at all with them being inconvenient, fake, or prone to breaking down. Nope, you just attach a bunch of awkward electrodes to your flab and blast it away, we swear!

#1 You Can Probably Just Take A Few Pills.

If using a pulsing robo-machine doesn't fill you with excitement, why not fill yourself with those amazing diet pills instead? According to the people advertising them (who, of course, have no interest in anything but your health), they really work well, and are totally awesome! Sure, they might be placebos that do nothing at best and kill you at worst, but hey, someone's got to try 'em, right? Goodbye crunches!



About the Author:

If, for whatever reason, you're still stuck in the dark ages and actually want to do a great http://www.bodyrock.tv">
abs workout to get a lean, toned body the "old fashioned" way, Zuzana's http://www.bodyrock.tv/category/daily-workouts/">workout videos at Bodyrock.TV will take you through it in the best way possible.


No comments:

Post a Comment